Before digging into the issue (and it's going to take some real digging), I think it's worth making sure my basic premise is Scriptural: how are we defining "real men?" I should say at this point that much of what follows is politically incorrect, and even in dispute by a lot of conservative churches. Most people would try make it this simple:
This is utter nonsense, though, as anyone who's read the Scripture should be able to figure out. Let's just take a quick review through some of the major figures in Biblical history:
Abraham
Abraham was a bit of a sissy when it came to protecting his wife. In Genesis 12 and 20, he basically lets his wife be known as his sister (and therefore available, with a capital "A" for adultery) so he won't get beat up.
Then again, Abraham went to war and took out a whole slew of kings and their armies to rescue his nephew Lot in Genesis 14. He handled hundreds of acres of land and livestock. He was willing to raise a knife and kill his own son in Genesis 22. And, as if we had any questions about the man's virility beyond bedding his wife and her servant Hagar at around 100, he takes another wife in Genesis 25:1, and apparently had some additional concubines, too (see Genesis 25:6).
Yup, Abraham was a man all the way to the core.
Moses
And then there's Moses. This guy starts his career by killing someone in a fight, standing up for a fellow Israelite (Exodus 2:11-12). He ends up running away to the desert (do you know any sissies that hang out in the desert?). Before his career is over, he gets God's Law orally (Exodus 20), and hikes up and down a massive mountain more than a few times.
He also manages to rant and rave against his own people (Exodus 32) and force them to drink a cup or two of idol-polluted water (32:20); he's in the habit of striking rocks (Ex. 17:6 and Num. 20) and threatening Pharaohs (Exodus 5 and following), too.
It would be hard to picture Moses as any sort of mealy-mouthed, plaid-wearing, dove-patting guy, wouldn't it?
Joshua
Joshua led an army around a wall for seven days straight. I imagine he had calves the size of Terrell Owens' and biceps that required custom-made tunics, you know? He was Moses' general (see Exodus 17) as well as his spiritual successor (see Exodus 24 and 32).
David
Do we need to say much about David? He'd killed his tens of thousands (I Sam. 18), and there was that incident with Goliath. Before that, he'd ripped a lion apart with his bare hands (I Sam. 17), as a kid!
Oh, and here's another guy lacking any hormonal imbalance issues. Bathsheba was ... ahem ... sunning herself, and David got more than a little aroused, didn't he? Add to that his other wives, and you've got a young, strong king who did more than love Jesus. He killed, he bedded women (rightly and wrongly), and he took his punishment like a man (II Sam. 12).
We're even told that David was a man after God's own heart in Acts 13.
Solomon
Solomon was the wisest and richest man to ever live. He seemed to know a bit about women (see, well, the entirety of Proverbs). And while I'm sure Hefner's not getting women these days based on his looks, I imagine it took a pretty strong and well-built man to handle and attract 700 wives and another 300 concubines (I Kings 11:3). Think about it... that's a different woman every day of the year for three years running.
I imagine Solomon was a hottie, built like a football player, firm of voice and hand. I don't imagine many people in Solomon's court were overheard saying, "Well, he's a very quiet man, prone to leading by solemn example. And he's so sensitive..."
The prophets
Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel... Elijah and Elisha... Micah, Hosea... these are men of incredible renown. They stood in the faces of kings and delivered God's words with authority and power. And while they occasionally ran from women (Elijah looks like a complete wuss in I Kings 19), these men largely acquitted themselves like... well... men.
I particularly like Hosea, who both loved his wife well despite her constant whoring around, but apparently had to pick her out of the gutter a few times before it was all said and done (see Hosea 2:5, probably a reference to Gomer after she birthed Jezreel and Lo-ruhamah).
All men's men, brave, physically and mentally strong, and prone to hard work, rather than, say, online poker for 12 to 13 hours a day.
John the Baptist
John? Well, he lived on locusts and honey (Matt. 3 and John 1), which would have kept him alive while most men gagged, spit up, and whined for a Wing Stop (I count myself with the whiners, not with John, just so we're clear). He also preached to Herod and got his head cut off (Matt. 14). I don't imagine he wrote Herod a note, spoke in vague abstractions, or played him a ballad on the lute to make his point. I rather suspect John used lots of words like "repent" and "sin" (although we get a rather paltry account in Matthew 14:4).
Another man's man.
Jesus
Hang in there... we're winding down. But it's important to realize that the trend started in the Old Testament continues into the new. Jesus Christ was not a coiffed choir boy in a baby-blue sash and resplendent white robe. If asked about his priorities in a Ms. American pageant, he would never answer "world peace." Instead, he'd likely go with the less popular, "I'm more of a sword type of guy" (Matt. 10:34).
(Please, save me from this guy, because he's certainly not Jesus!)
Jesus also survived the worst torture known to man for three days before dying, leveraging his torn body up and down, gagging for breath, with nothing but infected wounds and rusted nails to push against.
And while Jesus was quick to forgive, he also let his own Father know of his pain in his dying breaths: Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "ELI, ELI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?" that is, "MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?" (Matt. 27:46).
There was also that incident where Jesus tore into the local Mardel's and ripped up all the inspirational paintings and kicked over the crystalline cross display...
Paul
Last, but not least, we come to Paul. Paul wrote most of the New Testament, and apparently achieved the highest levels of scholarship (Phil. 3:1-6). So he must have been the scrawny nerdy type, right? Well, not so much. Paul spent three years living in the deserts of Arabia learning from Jesus (Gal. 1:17), getting his master's degree in theology. He called out everyone in the Corinthian church in scathing terms (read anything from I or II Corinthians, but in particular 11:17-34), attacking every form of sin you can imagine.
Paul also had the notorious thorn in the flesh, which most agree was some sort of painful physical issue. So he walked around with chronic pain, much of the time chained to a Roman guard.
So what's the point of this litany, anyway?
The point is that the Bible has no example of limp-wristed Christians. There aren't any men who, like Aquinas mistakenly suggested, "preach[ed] the gospel; and when necessary [used] words."
You don't find lots of women dragging around their men, praying that their husbands come to church and Bible study. That's not to say there weren't amazing godly women; Paul mentions several in his letters. But there were almost always godly men leading.
So what's happened? Why can't you get more than 10 or 15 men in a service of over 1,000 to pray for the pastor? Why can you start a women's Bible study and have hundreds show up, but men's fraternity is the province of our parents and grandparents?
Our men have lost their role models
Who's the 18-year old guy gonna look up to? The soft-spoken Jesus-whispering sissy or the tough-as-nails cut football player? Well, duh... the football player. But other than the occasional pointing upward in the end zone, the typical football player isn't preaching repentance and godly living.
Many of our preachers are given to gluttony and soft speech. They won't talk about sex or hormones, and when they do, they preach "intimacy in the marriage covenant." I know what that means, and I still barely want any part of it.
(I personally thank God our pastor at First Baptist Dallas, Dr. Robert Jeffress, went as far as referring to Joseph's "hot Hebrew hormones" this last Sunday, and I counted him mentioning sex at least 10 times between the AM and PM services.)
Look, I'm not saying that you need to have callouses on your hands and a buzz cut to be a Christan man. What I am saying is that every Biblical model we have is strong, focused, outspoken, committed, leading by word as well as example, plain-speaking, and very, very male.
So how do we get back to this? Men, how do we love Christ and remain masculine? Women, how do you encourage your husbands, brothers, and guy friends to man up? Well, there are some really horrible misunderstandings about what the Bible says that will help clear this up. Visit again in another few days, and I'll talk about what the Bible really says about our heart, and how men can, indeed, find their heart, love Jesus, and be passionate manly Christians once more.
The result? More men following godly examples (see I Cor. 4:16 and 11:1). More women with husbands that will quit playing World of Warcraft and staring at porn, instead choosing to speak up in their home, teach their boys to love Jesus unashamedly, encourage their girls to demand strength and passion from their future husbands, and choosing to sleep with their wives passionately and aggressively, secure in a conviction that they are leaders, not gelded wimps with home-made paper-clip crosses dangling from their necks.
Now, for those of you who are totally offended by this, and insist that you're a quiet, lead-by-example-but-not-by-word, artistic man who never raises his voice or makes a contested decision in the home... well, I'll not refer you to my opinions. They, like all opinions, are just that: ravings of someone who thinks he's right, and in my case, loves Jesus.
What I will say is that there's no example of this type of man in Scripture. There's no silent Christian, and culturally, we're seeing the results of that in our culture. Let's bring back a man who is passionate, vocal, and leads his family and business toward Christ... all the while, showing masculine qualities without compromising the name of his Lord and Savior. We are all different, gifted in various areas, but we cannot be varied in our approach to masculinity, proclaiming the gospel, or modeling Christ to our culture and to young men, lost and saved.
Wanna know how? Well, tune in next time. It's time to get our hearts back, men.
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