But sometimes, a carefully placed, "Honey, I'm tired" can avoid a horrible fight. And... here's the real surprise... it's the guy that needs to drop this much-avoided line.
Most men in today's culture are hard workers. They get up sometime just before dawn, plow through nearly an hour of traffic, and drop into their office chair a bit past 8:00 AM (if they've got a lenient boss). 9, 10, 12 hours later, it's time to reverse the process. More traffic, more fatigue, and a day of stress on top of all that.
The result? Well, you can guess...
Tired, cranky, and very fight-prone husbands.
Now don't get me wrong. I know quite well that in today's world, women are just as likely as men to work long days, commute back and forth between home and a job, and arrive back at the roost ready to claw somebody's eyes out. But there's one big difference.
Men are terrible at admitting weakness.
Look at our first father, Adam, way back in Genesis 3. "Hey Adam," God called out. "What were you thinking, eating the one stinking fruit I said to leave alone?"
Adam, in a moment of utter idiocy, glared at the only naked female in sight, and proclaimed, "It was her! She made me do it!" Eve goes on to blame the serpent, but I'd argue that Eve was following her husband's example, rather than exhibiting any real character flaw.
Let's face it, men: we're terrible at being weak.
So what does that have to do with anything? Well, an exhausted wife will often come home and drop into a kitchen chair, sigh loudly, and look at her husband with big eyes: "Baby, can we order Chinese tonight?" In other words, she's letting her husband know, "I'm tired. Can you help?" And of course, us men-folk love to be the brave knight, riding in on our valiant steed carrying egg drop soup and some pepper steak.
The woman's casual admittance of a need for help (or at least the desire not to cook) awakens in us guys something that makes it easy to avoid a fight. We (usually) don't scream and kick. Instead, we pull out the menus and get to ordering up some Chinese.
But why, oh why, can't we guys do the same? When we're tired, we come home with anger in our eyes and sarcasm on our lips. We take out our frustrations on our loved ones, hollering at the kids to calm down (good luck with that), and practically daring our wives to not have a hot dinner, perfectly cooked, ready and waiting.
Instead, why not follow Paul's admonition in Romans 8:3, and simply admit it. "Honey, I'm exhausted. My flesh is weak." Jesus affirmed that our flesh was weak as well, in Mark 14:38 and Matthew 26:41.
And if you somehow think you're not susceptible to the words of Jesus and Paul, how about Peter in I Peter 3:7? Peter tells us to honor our wives. Are we honoring our wives by (1) being dishonest and not simply saying, "I'm exhausted and cranky, but I really don't want to fight," and (2) by setting emotional landmines out just because we had a bad day at the office?
Paul insists that men love their wives as Christ loved the church in Ephesians 5:25. How does that apply? Well, when Jesus was angry, he let people know (Mark 11:15); and he's let us know that he's angry at sin (Romans and Revelation in particular). How about the next time you feel like screaming at someone, and the emotional charge in the air could power a few city blocks, you just tell your wife.
"Honey, I'm tired. I've got a headache."
You'd be surprised how often your wife might be willing to ride that steed of yours down to the local Wing Stop, rub your back, and take it easy on you forgetting to take out the trash that morning.
No, it won't always be that simple, and that perfect. But then again, it's really not about our wives' response to us, is it? It's about us being honest, honorable examples to the woman that God's chosen to give to us. It's about not setting little tripwires that we know our children will pull, and blaming them for setting the house into a windstorm of anger and bitterness.
It's about us being Christ in our homes. "Be angry, and sin not." (Eph. 4:26)
Men, sometimes we just have to play the headache card. I promise... you'll be better for it.
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